i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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