We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
did i walk over a car last night?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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