but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
