Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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