I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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