it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
