I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
