I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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