I faked an abortion last night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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