just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
