my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
