Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Are we still banned from the library?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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