Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
