look no pants
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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