Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
