Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
