Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
