Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
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He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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