I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
