Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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