You made me cry and you don't even care
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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