did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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