CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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