Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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