If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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