dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
