You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
