we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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