Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
