Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
