Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
