This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
