Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How naked do you want me to be?
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