If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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