There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
