If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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