Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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