just come out here and I will go home with you...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
