i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
