how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
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It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
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