I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
