I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize