But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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