Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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