Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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