Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
