mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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