I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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