I got chris browned last night
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
