yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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