I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Randomize
