Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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