she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
