LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't deserve a penis
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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