Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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