Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I looked at my own cervix.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
