carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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