just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize