so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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