i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
