i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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