We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I deserve this hangover.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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