A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Michael Bay diarrhea
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
