you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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