Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My vagina just clenched in fear
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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