Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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