I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
