Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
