11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
