We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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