I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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