Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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