The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Please, let me fuck your mom
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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