drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
