If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize