I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This toilet bowl is my home.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
