I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
